The problem with self-hate is that it will always leave you feeling less than you are, and looking outside yourself for answers or validation. When you live this way, you’ll be onto the next problem before you even allow yourself to feel good about what you’ve “fixed”! Thus this self hatred (let’s call it what it is) is keeping you in a constant state of anxiety, depression, and frustration.
You have to become so strong inside that only you decide what you want to work on, instead of being influenced by the world around you (including all of the businesses and industries that are benefiting from your believing how much fixing you need).
Insecurities Taking Over
Say, you’re out to lunch with a friend who shares that she’s just gotten botox. Naturally you may start to wonder, do I need botox? Are my wrinkles becoming too much? If I don’t, will others be able to tell? Will they think less of me? Could this affect my success / attractiveness / importance? Will I still be WORTHY if I miss out on getting botox?
Now this is where this subject gets so complicated! Because you, my dear reader, might be someone who was raised with high expectations around beauty standards, maybe already getting botox on a regular basis, having already chosen this as in important part of maintaining your own standard of beauty. Or you may be someone who would never even consider measures outside of natural skincare products to maintain your own standard of beauty.
What matters to me in the heart of this conversation is that you never feel like you have to make decisions for yourselves from a place of self hatred.
I hope you don’t get on an exercise bike because you hate yourself.
I hope you don’t get cosmetic surgery because you want to look like someone else.
I hope you don’t drown yourself in oversized clothes because you feel your shape is unworthy to be seen.
I hope you aren’t drowning in debt because of measures to fix yourself.
I hope you’re aren’t feeling depressed and exhausted because nothing is never enough.
Living from a place of self hatred is always going to create more hatred, self worth issues, and anxiety. It will never lead you to happiness.
True happiness comes from within
There are people who have been their unhappiest at their lowest weight, unhappiest when caked in makeup, unhappiest when counting calories and measuring food for each meal of every day. There are also others who have been their happiest when they’re doing yoga 5 times a week, when they finally got that cosmetic work to their teeth that gave them the smile they always wanted, or happiest when they finally decided to stop coloring their hair.
What has worked for others will not work for you! The more you look to the outside world for those keys to happiness, the further away you’ll get.
The Journey Starts By Going Inward
If you are struggling with these almost subconscious but powerful thoughts of self doubt, then it’s time to start getting really good at validating yourself! The practice of learning to validate yourself will give you inner strength, build a reservoir of self confidence inside, and help you make choices from a place of self love, kindness, and honesty.
After all, you have to ask yourself what is the point of being here on this earth? You’re not here to meet constantly evolving standards of beauty. You’re here as a sacred, divine, and important being. You have so much to offer this world- exactly as you are, and only as you are.
If you’re ready to start practicing this you could start with this easy 12 minute guided meditation for finding Inner Strength available on my patreon page. Or you can dive a little deeper listening to me expand on this topic on this episode of our podcast. I share more about the insecurities behind maintaining beauty standards, the struggles/complications, and lots of encouragement about you choosing to love yourself.
Listen to the A Bit From Within Podcast right now, on Apple Podcasts (or wherever you love to listen) and feel free to share this with your friends who need this message too.
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