2. I used to think I had to say yes but now I realize I get to say no.
This is a big one for all of us who are people pleasers! It’s really hard when people you like come to you for something you might be able to help them with, only to be met with your no. For so many years I would feel so horrible if I said no, or felt like if I did that I would let them down so much- but over time I realized that people are WAY more resilient than I gave them credit for. Maybe that sounds bad, but it’s true.
Subconsciously, I was putting myself in this role of rescuer. And when I bent over backwards to come through for someone only to realize it didn’t mean as much to them as I thought it did, and that they could have been just as happy with someone else’s efforts- that’s when I realized wow, I GET to say no when I need to.
This one really has to do with owning my own decisions around what I have time and energy for. It’s still not second nature to me, it’s something I have to actively practice- but having systems built around my availability helps, and so does continuous practice of saying no when I need to.