We can’t control what they say, what they believe, how they perceive us, or how they react (among other things). And when we try to- especially by doing extra in order to make others love us or give us approval, appreciation, or thanks- it’s very co-dependent.
The Importance of Self Validation
When you learn to approve of yourself and find a sense of worthiness that is no longer dependent on what others are saying or thinking about you- suddenly things majorly shift in your life.
After all- how much time and energy do you spend striving for the approval of others?
I massively struggled with this because trying to prove myself left me burning the candle at both ends; I was exhausting all of my internal resources running around trying to please everyone else both personally and professionally. I was checking emails 24/7, staying up until late hours of the night to complete projects before they were due and putting my partners needs and wants before my own.
I thought if I did everything that everyone else could possibly want or expect of me that THEN I would be good enough.
But the approval I was seeking would never was enough.
After years of crashing and burning, I finally realized- something has to give. Looking to others to approve of me was inconsistent at best. When it worked it felt good, but the feeling didn’t last long; only until the next thing I had to fix or do in order to feel good enough again.