One of the first ways we give ourselves away with dishonesty is when what we say doesn’t match what we do. We may commit to something we didn’t want to do for someone else, and suddenly we’re half-assing it, or passive aggressively completing the task.

From the other side of this, another example is when someone told you to your face they had your back only to find out they hadn’t. And of course infidelity, broken promises, all of this are classic examples of what someone says not aligning with what they’re doing.

When your words and actions aren’t in alignment, even when you’re covering up the truth with “harmless” white lies- you’re letting yourself and others down. The stress of managing the lie can become so much, and can consume you. And all while this is happening, the truth is in the air like a water before it rains.

When you’re standing in your truth, your boundaries become super clear. This is an incredible phenomenon that should give you so much hope if you’ve been struggling to be honest.

Sure, whenever boundaries go up there’s a natural freak out of those involved trying to readjust to the new reality, but when the truth makes things super clear for you- suddenly you feel more confident in setting rules that must be followed.

I’ve seen this with former enablers to addicts, mom’s who realize they can’t keep doing their kids laundry, and small business owners of all kinds who can’t keep up with clients who don’t hold up their end of the bargain. Whether the topic feels big or small, the more honest you are with yourself the more sure you feel about what you can or cannot tolerate from others.

When you’ve finally realized that you need to be more honest, or you’re reading to stand in your truth on a new issue- you will inevitably have to share that truth with others. When is it time to share that? Well- as soon as you’ve gotten honest enough with yourself that your truth is clear.

Don’t get me wrong, clarity can still come with complexity! We all understand that relationship dynamics are often far from simple. However, if you’re honest comes with a thousand swords or if you’re words are tearing someone down because it’s time “they know the truth”, I’m just going to say it- you’re not standing in your truth.

Both manipulation and undermining someone can be done under the guise of truthfulness- which is why I think it’s so important to say how important it is that if we are not feeling totally clear, and even calm, then we’re not standing in our truth.

When the truth comes out, no matter how hard it is, there’s usually a sense of relief from the truth teller. Does this mean there weren’t tears? No. Or sadness felt? Definitely not. But despite all the other emotions you might be navigating- there’s still a body relief: shoulders lower, breath feels fuller, and your heart no longer feels quite as heavy- because the truth has set you free. 

Peace is a huge indicator of standing in your truth. When you’ve reached true honest within, and begin sharing with without- it doesn’t matter what others think of you because you feeling that truth in your body brings peace. Same with sharing your truth with others- even if it’s incredibly painful- there’s a feeling of, at least it’s out there, now we can all do what we will with it. 

I hope this has given you so much to think about when it comes to truth and honesty in your life and how you’re living it. You can listen to me share more on- the free thought version- on the companion episode of the A Bit From Within Podcast: Truth, Honesty, and How To Live It. You can listen below or find us on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.