And you can’t do anything about it.
This is the heart of what I struggle with when things aren’t changing: no matter how much I desire change in my life- I have no control over whether things are happening (or not).
If I had it my way, over the last couple of years I would have already been married to Dave, started a family, and been renting out our first home while inhabiting a new home perfect for our new growth. I was ready for this gateway in early 2020 for sure, but …. Life happened. It wasn’t just the pandemic, although working in the wedding industry during this crisis was not easy. We were forced to really look at and work on our relationship as we navigated through our impacted business, and being together at home 24/7. I don’t think I’ve even fully processed just how difficult that’s been or how much it’s affected me.
Before you know it, we’re almost 2 years into this thing and instead of having the things I truly desired, I instead had been putting on a whole damn circus as far as where my energy has been. That’s the truth. Because of financial need, all of my energy has been directed toward keeping our ship floating during a very scary time in our lives. After two years of this, I found myself staring our the window each day thinking- there’s GOTTA be something else out there. How do I get myself out of this vicious cycle?