Struggling with not feeling good enough? First, you must know that you are not alone. So many of us struggle with feelings of inadequacy, or trying to prove our worth to others through our productivity, value, and other contributions. And so many of become exhausted when our constant effort begins to fail us.
When we come up “short”, either sensing others aren’t happy with us or from feeling like we can’t keep everything under control, or we just get so tired from working so hard, it’s then we begin to crack. We break down. We are left wondering how we can break this cycle and just feel like we are enough as we are.
Awareness is Key
One of the first steps in healing the “I’m not good enough” thought that cycles inside of you, is by recognizing it. Awareness really is everything.
The more you can identify that mantra that is cycling around your head, the better chance you have of stopping it and reprogramming it.
I’ve seen in my own life that some of the areas the I’m not good enough comes up, doesn’t show up as that thought playing through my head. It’s usually disguised under other anxieties and fears. As a long time business owner I notice it sometimes come up in fear of other’s disappointment in me or in my work.
It’s also easy to see when we get defensive with our loved ones. These are great moments to walk away and consider, what is making me feel like I’m not enough right now? Is this true? Are others actually implying this or is this just what I’m most afraid of? This simple act can be a game changer.
You have NO control over others
The next step is to come to terms with the fact that you don’t have control over how others feel about you, even if you’re working double time to make sure that others like you and that you’re valuable to them. Do those people benefit from everything you’re doing? Yes. Do they appreciate it? Probably. I mean at least I hope they do. But are these things a guarantee of your good standing other others? Absolutely not.
It’s so important to recognize when you’re doing this. How others feel about us is none of our business. Whether others like us or not, should not effect how we see ourselves.
It’s really easy to feel otherwise, especially if you grew up in a household where you felt like your caregivers happiness was your responsibility. I can relate to this myself, and have spend so much of my adult life trying to untangle the web of behaviors instilled in me around feeling as though others happiness is my responsibility. It’s not. But you know what is? My own happiness.
Say it with me: I am ENOUGH.
As you start to notice when “I’m not enough” creeps up, and you realize that it’s not your job to make others like you, then you can start to affirm for yourself just how valuable, wonderful, and ENOUGH you are- exactly as you are.
You are a powerful and resilient person. Remember that your value does not come from what you do, but from who you are.
Start to prioritize affirming the things that are wonderful about you that have nothing to do with productivity or other’s happiness. In fact, start to make an ongoing list of things that you like about yourself!
And remember- don’t get discouraged when the cycle ignites again because these are the moments that big progress can happen inside of you. It’s not an overnight transformation, but the transformation you have over time will certainly be life changing for you!
If you are someone who resonates with this topic, we can assure you that you’ll love tuning in each week to the A Bit From Within podcast. Each week Felicia shares a bit from within, expanding on topics like you’ve just read here, giving examples from her life and real life examples of how to reframe some of those thoughts to be more kind and compassionate. The podcast is full of helpful reminders and affirmations that will help you live a life filled with more self love! Listen to the A Bit From Within Podcast right now, on Apple Podcasts (or wherever you love to listen) and feel free to share this with your friends who need this message too.
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