Becoming a Mother

2024 – the year we bring a child into our lives. I am so excited to share this moment with you.

You’re Invited

To the Blessingway for Felicia Marti.

“Blessingway: a ceremony derived from a Native American tradition in which the expectant mother and her closest friends gather to celebrate pregnancy, and support, nurture and empower the expectant mother’s passage into motherhood.”

Blessingway Details:

This will be a virtual gathering, 45-60 minutes long, held over a zoom link sent to you upon RSVPing.

On the day of, I welcome you to take the time to honor yourself- perhaps you can sit in your favorite room, buy yourself some flowers, wear your favorite comfy clothes or clothes, and sit down with your favorite drink to sip on throughout the ritual.

What to Expect from Ritual:

Welcome & Blessingway Introduction

Short Guided Relaxation: To offer a sense of unity, connection, and peace.

Sharing & Affirmation Circle: Each participant may choose to share a story, blessing, or words of encouragement for the expectant mother. This can be related to childbirth, motherhood, or personal experiences. The tone should foster a sense of capability, support, and nurturing.

Closing blessings & Final Words: Gratitude & Reflections.

If you’re unable to attend, please feel no stress or pressure. If you are able to join- please know I’m so grateful for your energy and presence and can’t wait to celebrate with you.

How We Got Here

I’ve always desired to become a mother. But seeing that plus sign appear on the very first pregnancy test I took last fall- was still a complete shock for me. For several days I hadn’t felt myself- I thought perhaps it was just feeling under the weather but little things felt different- including- my dog suddenly and continuously trying to lick me.

Part of why I was so shocked is because…. well this news came within weeks of stepping into a the full-time role of mom as the foster parent to David’s 5 year old niece (And yes- as much as I’d like to share more that story and the ways it has already informed my journey to motherhood, I will have to say those pieces for another time). With all of life’s major changes last year- actually becoming pregnant was not something I thought would happen at that time, even though I was (and still am) so grateful to know my body was capable and ready.

I know that motherhood changes a woman- and for me, that started immediately when the first trimester completely put me to bed. Literally. Between unfathomable fatigue and constant morning sickness I was pretty much bed ridden until a week before Christmas. I won’t spend much time on that part of the story, because well frankly it’s not pretty nor interesting- but I will say, it absolutely taught me a lesson in acceptance.

From Christmas through most of January I slowly started to find my way again. The vomiting became manageable with the help of medication, and I started to gain weight once again. I was finding more strength, finding new systems to help make life a bit more manageable. One thing that acceptance brought was a lot of letting go. Whether it was laundry, dishes, house projects stuck in a holding place, or even taking a shower – I had to be where I was every day and do what I could- which also meant accepting or letting go of what I couldn’t.

Luckily I’ve had Dave’s help to fill in the missing pieces, and him and my Mom to help listen to me cry in the moments where the self criticism was roaring. Each week got a little bit brighter than the week before. Slowly but steadily (and truly- slower than I would have ever chosen myself) I began to come back into my own and move towards everything I felt I “had” or still have to do to get ready.

What will we need? What matters first? Is baby okay in there? Are they growing ok? Am I taking care of myself to take care of him? Am I on track? Do I listen to this doctor or the one who contradicted the one that I saw last time? Do I need that donut I’m craving? What should the nursery look like? What will maternity leave look like? What kind of crib do I need? What kind of stroller will I want? Will I be successful at breastfeeding? Do I still need bottles? How many of them do I need? And how many clothes? And what do summer babies wear?

OOF! And I promise- that’s just off the top of my head. It never stops.

And for me…. the question I wrestled with, and to be honest, cried over, most of all: should I have a baby shower?

Finding out that I was pregnant just months after moving to New York, and before I could make it back home to Colorado- was definitely not part of the plan. For many weeks the one thing that consistently brings me to tears is missing all of my loved ones- my family and dearest friends- YOU! I deeply want to share this transformational moment in my life with you.

And yet- as the days went on and the pieces of life right now were put into place- I realized that traveling back home would not be an option at this time. There’s many factors but for me it came down to managing my stress alongside other priorities.

However, I still deeply want to share this moment with YOU- and for me- more than gifts, or eating cute desserts, or playing games…. I simply desire to connect. To be held in a space with other women whom I know and trust. Mothers: whether physically mother’s in this lifetime or stewards of feminine wisdom from their own experience. That’s when I came across the concept of a blessingway ceremony.

“Blessingway: a ceremony derived from a Native American tradition in which the expectant mother and her closest friends gather to celebrate pregnancy, and support, nurture and empower the expectant mother’s passage into motherhood.”

So that’s what I would love to do, and would love to have you share in this moment with me.

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